Twin Cities Marathon

WELLLLLLLLL...this post will be a long one. Consider yourself warned. 

For those of you that read my last post, you know I decided a week before the race to give it a go, after being fully healed from my stress fracture a while and giving myself a few test runs (of 10 miles or less - mind you). I figured I was already going to Minneapolis, I couldn't get my money back, and I wanted to try. My parents were going to be there specifically for this race, I was running with Kelly, Michael was coming...I just wanted to try for myself, and kind of for everyone who had planned to be there to support me, too.

SO glad I did. 
We rocked it. Slowly but surely.

The weekend started off great. We got there to cold and wet weather, but my parents picked us up and took us to the expo. Our sweet parents waited rather patiently while we oooh'd and awww'd over all the running goods, and finally after about two hours my Dad threw in the towel and shoo'd us out the door :) We took a rest and then ate dinner all together at The News Room, and Michael and Alissa joined us. I wish I would have taken more pictures before Sunday. But, we had a low-key night and called it an early night.


Saturday Kelly and I did our last training run and ran to the Metrodome and back, which is where the race started. The weather was great. Still overcast, but no rain, and in the high 40's. Saturday was SUPER low key, we walked around the city and stumbled upon a walk/protest for immigration reform, which was neat to see. Then, we watched a movie at the hotel (aka napped a bit), and Michael and I called it quits early. We drove around Lake Minnetonka and pretend-house hunted and then drove through this cutesy little lake town. I loved it. Fall there is to die for. So, I had a lovely dinner of pasta and water water water. I think I was in bed by 9:00 :)

Flash forward to Sunday morning

TC 10 mile (on the way to Kelly's hotel)

I SLEPT LIKE A DREAM. I felt SO well rested, and actually naturally woke before my 6:15 alarm went off. Stretched, had my banana and Honey Stinger waffles, and a little coffee. Perfect. We met Kelly at her hotel, and of course, took some pics :)

Pre-race excitement. And maybe some nievity :) You don't have to tell me how sexy we look, we know.

So, we booked it to the Metrodome and I went to put our check bags up. Welp, of course it can't go perfectly and I had to put my stuff in a different coral -- so Kelly and I lost each other. We had both realized this at the start and said a prayer for ourselves/each other, and *wham* found each other :) Thank the Lord -- because looking back it would have been trouble without her.

At the start line, after we got separated. Taking pictures to ease the anxiety  

So, we knew Kelly's mom, Mrs. B, was going to be with Alissa and her sister at miles 8 and 18. And my parents were going to stagger along the way, too. Michael was at mile 5 and 13, so we had mini-mile markers to get us through the first half. We eventually decided to just stop and stretch when we saw our friends/family, because -- hey, why not? :) Social stretch, anyone?

We even saw some famous people, like Chubacca. 

Kelly and I getting excited to see some familiar faces! 

So, about 10 miles in was about when I started to be more aware of how long this race was going to be. 26.2 miles, to be exact. While I knew this in theory....it really hit home in between 10-13 miles. So, we just kept running, with intermittent conversations and anecdotal comments about the scenery, runners, spectators, etc. We chatted with a few runners, listen to tunes intermittently, and just took in the scenery and the fact that we were seriously running a marathon.

After seeing our family at mile 18, I asked my parents to come somewhere between 22-24, because going from 18-26 without seeing anyone seemed too long for us...we were tired and I think fading a little bit. So, Mom and Dad said they would do whatever we needed, even if they missed the finish.

Around mile 20 we saw Michael with his sister Michelle and her fiance, Dan - they live in Ramsey and came up to spectate which was super sweet. So, we stretched and hugged and left, with the "6 miles left" mantra. We chatted this man who was on his 349th race (marathons and ultras) -- and his advice was that the race was actually two separate races -- the first 20 miles and the last 6. Man, was he right.

My parents creeped up around mile 22 or 24 (I can't remember) and offered some final moral support.

There I am...jogging along.

We took two pictures, and this was our "How we really feel" picture. Again, we rock the same hat and the same fuel belt. Don't be jealous. 

Mile 26 -- praise the Lord! 

Andddd mile 26. This was where I was walking faster than I was running, but I think Kelly and I were both determined to finish it running. So, we did. After a quick little side hug emotional "i cant believe we are doing this and doing it together" moment, we ran through the finish. Wow. 26.2 miles. Done. We got our medals, grabbed some food, and changed clothes ASAP. Then we met our families and hugged and chatted :) Took a ton of pictures. I think Kelly and I were "run-drunk" and still in shock. Heck, I may STILL be in shock.

ONE AND DONE! First Marathon in the books! #TWINSIES

My AWESOME parents :) 

My sweet giant. 

Dan, Michael, Me, Michelle. 

Awesome medal. 

Let's just talk about the weather. It went from a 60% chance of rain all morning to a 30% chance, with minimal rain the whole race. We couldn't have been more blessed. Even so, it got colder in the later morning, and I found myself feeling so thankful for the spectator support when it was rainy and gross. There is no way it would have been as enjoyable without all the spectators and the signs and the volunteers. And of course, our family.

Even my family and friends that weren't there helped get through those miles. I knew I had support and prayers coming my way the whole race, even though most of my friends and family (obviously) couldn't be there. I appreciated all the pre- and post-race texts :)


We went to the yellow room overlooking the city in the evening, and it was so pretty! Of course Kelly and I wore our finisher shirts and medals!

Yay us

Well earned Marg's at Rosie's. We just love to match everything, drinks included :) 

We were SOOOO sore after. Obviously, I know. But no one really warns you. My body was SO tired and our mental states were less than stellar. I felt really "cloudy" -- mixture of exhaustion, disbelief, and joy.
This followed into Monday, too. We got up at dark:30 to catch our flight, and I went straight to class (even though I was dead tired -- that's grad school life for you).  I went home after stopping at the grocery store for a nap, and overslept. I had to pick up my nanny children at 3:00, and woke up at 2:57. Yikes. Leave it to Michael to provide comedic relief.

PMSD. A real thing. 

I can't believe I ran a marathon. After a major lack of training, I still finished, and although I was slowwww, I still accomplished my goal. Next time, I will hopefully finish before 5:30:06. But, for this race, I am perfectly content and thankful. Quite the experience.

Fargo Marathon 2014, see you in May :) 

Minnesota is ON

So, what do you do when you get when you add a healed stress fracture, renewed love for running, and a non-refundable registration for the Twin Cities Marathon? 

You get a marathon runner. My plane ticket has long been purchased, hotel arranged, family planning to be there, the whole 9. So, when this last weekend I was on my run and feeling awesome, I thought, "why not?" Then I said,"No...seriously. Why NOT?" 

And that, my friends, is how I decided to try to run this race. Although I am extremely undertrained, I don't mind crawling the last few miles. Or walking intermittently. I just want to do it. My very dear friend Kelly and I planned to do it, and although she will now finish before me (as she should!) -- I want us to start this together, as planned. I don't know what I would have done last year without my sweet sweet friend, and for that reason doing something this epic with her just feels right. :) I'm excited for our families to meet and celebrate this crazy event.

There's nothing better than this spontaneity -- this is something I rarely do. Spontaniety is not a word ANYONE would EVER use to describe me (sad, but true). 

I may have to drop out. I'm ok with that. I may not be able to walk right for a week, or do yoga as I do, or sit. Or bend over. I mean..let's not think about that any longer...but the point I was trying to make is...

I may not finish.
And that. is. ok.
I will be surrounded by the love of my parents, partner, and friends. That will be enough. Trying is what I am promising to do.



For those of you that know me, and know me well, this self-kindness is not something that comes easily, but I have really been humbled by this stress-fracture and I know that everything happens for a reason. And maybe the reason for it to happen this way was for me to be able to ENJOY this race. ENJOY the process, finish or not. PRACTICE self kindness. TRUST in myself, my feet, my faith, my determination, maybe even my pure stubbornness -- because lets face it, I've got plenty of that.


Twin Cities Marathon -- 2013. That's what I'll be doing this weekend :) 

Living in the *Now*

Straying away from the usual fitness/food format to talk about something that is near and dear to me. 

A forever "goal" of mine has been to not be so anxious.
You mean that's an option?
It is. Although I don't "live there" often -- I think I've gotten much better over the past...6-8 months or so. HOWEVER --- since the school semester has started, everything's gone a little bit... haywire? off the map? to crazy town? yeah...you could say that.

Is this even possible? 

Where will I live after graduation? Shit, I'm going to have to move again? Who will help me pack? Wait...when's graduation? What color is my cap and gown? How much is it? What size will my diploma be? How soon do I need to study for the LMSW exam? What state will I need to be licensed in? Can I quit one of my several jobs? Speaking of jobs..what kind will I get? What kind do I want? I wonder how much I'll make? When do I need to start paying on my student loans...

This. Is. Exhausting. 

And you know what else it is? POINTLESS. There is NO way that worrying about all of this NOW is going to change the reality of it being done. I know that I'm a dedicated, structured person. I don't wait until the last minute. But planning 10 months in advance is a little overzealous.

So, how? How to I reeeeeeeel myself back in? Well, I exercise. As often as I can. Whenever I can. This was rough as I had a stress fracture and no gym, so my options were limited, but I made do. I am now back to running 3x a week and yoga-ing 3x a week. Running is honestly something that I can't ever imagine NOT doing. It's as soothing to me as a massage. With sweat.


Yoga -- God's most recent gift to me. While I've been doing it since I moved off and on, I have just really started to benefit in a more emotional way. This is the body I have. I'm learning to be kinder to myself, love and accept myself the way that I am *right now* I'm seeing my body change in great ways, but my favorite change is the change I have on the inside. Practicing self-compassion is not something I've ever been very good at.  Also, forcing myself to lay still and think of nothing for at least 3 minutes before and after practice helps quiet my loud-mouthed mind :)

Pray.  Now I will admit this is something that falls by the wayside from time to time, but I am typically ever-aware of all of my blessings, and try to focus on those instead of what I think I want or need. This helps keep me grounded and appreciative of this little life of mine.

Hold myself accountable. I have a few great friends who will tell me when to snap out of it. Who pray for me. Tell me when to get off that thought train, as I refer to it as after a wise woman said it. Another fun thing I tell myself is,"welp, that's a thought that will take me places..." Because honestly, half the nonsense we think that grows into fear/worry/anxiety/whatever....it's grown from something so small.

Self-help aficionado. Yeah, that's right. I'm a lover of self-help, feel-good, mindfulness type books. It doesn't work for everyone, but I also use these things at my internship, and hell...if I can't practice what I preach then I'm in for a realllll treat when clients start calling my BS. So, don't be scurred. Pick up a book. Or an audio book, for those of you who do that. Listen to it on a commute, on a run, wherever. They aren't as cliche as you think. Ok...they are, but you might like it :)

These are actually for my internship, but they're also self-help-ish.

Be. Silly. Man this is so hard for me. 

This was me actually trying to match an iPhone emoji...but it totally fits here. 

I am SUCH a serious person. The phrase "lighten up" or "live a little" should be written on my gravestone. Except that's not very sensitive...so maybe not. But, taking the time to laugh and appreciate the feeling it brings to my face, my body, my stomach...is not something I do often enough. But, it's hard to be anxious when you're laughing. Just try it. It's a little like sneezing with your eyes open. AKA impossible. 

Lastly, ENJOY. ENJOY. ENJOY. Any little thing. It doesn't even matter.

Sunflowers. Giant ones.

Lazy days. He's a pro at these.

Fall. Scarves. All things pumpkin and cinnamon.


Until next time -- I'll be trying to relax :) Probably by the time I blog next I will have been to Texas and Minneapolis -- so expect some fun photos :) 

Happy Michigan Anniversary to ME!

Holy cannoli --- it is May 5th. This day, last year, I had my Penske loaded up, my boys (pets) drugged and kenneled in the front, and I was making the long trek from Dallas, Texas to Lansing, Michigan. It was such a bittersweet day, saying goodbye to the only state I'd ever lived in, on a new adventure. My sweet parents went out of town, as they didn't want to be around to see me leave (needless to say -- they weren't so much on board). 

My room at home -- all packed and clean.

Little did I know how much of an adventure I was starting :) 

If I knew what I now know, I would probably not be here...which makes me so happy that I took the chance and huge leap of faith by coming here. Did it turn out like I expected? No. But the Lord has provided me wonderful friends, a job that I love with littles I LIVE for, and a school program that I enjoy thoroughly at Michigan State.

 The phrase,"If God brings you to it, He will see you through it" has never resonated like it has this entire last year. Not only was I able to make a choice that I knew was rooted in Gods will, I was able to really flourish and grow here on my own, which is an opportunity not everyone gets. I will forever be grateful for this experience, and I've got a year left :)

That's not to say I haven't had hard times, I mean come on...
I picked up my life and moved to Michigan to go to school and be closer to my then-boyfriend. Well...when that wasn't working, I was so mad at myself.
I'd barely even been here in Michigan.
I mean, it was still summer...yikes. 
I was so embarrassed because I knew everyone saw this happening, and felt like my dirty laundry was being aired for everyone to see. I did feel like a failure. Now it sounds silly, but that's only because I've moved past it. I'm no longer angry, because I made the choice not to be. I decided to stay and continue with grad school and make the most with what I had going for me: school. With that being said...

This year -- I have:
Joined a running group that I thoroughly enjoy and have gotten to know so many great people through a common love of running. And eating afterwards lol I have continued to make fitness and healthy eating a priority, which adds so much to my overall well-being.

 

Showing my parents around my new home! 

 

Explored downtown Chicago and ran my second half marathon solo -- which was such a wonderful experience -- and PR'd at 2:05:something.

Appropriately dressed for a REAL winter -- and survived it, too!

Spent my first birthday without my family and home-friends, and celebrated 25 with some new forever-friends without crying or getting (too) homesick!  

Met this girl -- who happens to be one of my favorites. 

Met this handsome fella, who I love very much. 

I've missed some things too..like my friends and family.
My youngest brother's prom and state competition, seeing my little cousin Brock grow faster than a weed, enjoying family dinners and my home church, having to taking my dog back home because my schedule made it too hard to give him the attention he deserved, etc etc etc.
The list could go on and on and on. But, I can honestly say the good outweighs all the bad, and at the end of the day, what else could we hope for? I have learned to listen to my heart, and trust my gut.

I've also learned that true friends are hard to find, and I'm so blessed to have found some here as well as hold on tightly to the ones at home.

Here's to another year in the mitten :) 

New Music Lovin (Way Behind!!) - Running - School

HAHA this could NOT be more true, as Natasha and I just had a talk about all the engagements (and several baby announcements lately too) happening all over our newsfeeds :) 

OMG -- New Music? I can tell summer is coming because of all the fabulous tunes I'm hearing these days!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - love this albummmmm. Subway? Yep. 

Iron and Wine - I've not been in the mood for this type of music, but I do love Iron and Wine, so this will be on reserve for a long drive or something.

Daft Punk (single) - Get Lucky Soooooo fun. Listen to it a few times on my run Sunday.

Kid Cudi - have to be in the mood for it, but I like it. Listened to some songs (with skips) during my rains Wednesday AM run. It's not really a fabulous sign when I'm skipping, but it could have been because I was running and needed some pep. 

Steve Earle - OMG love. That's all I have to say :) 

Jimmy Eat World (single) - I do like their new single. Not a surprise, I love Jimmy Eat World.

Tyga - The ghetto girl inside of me did a little dance and the white girl translation was not pretty. However, this CD is great if you can excuse the vulgarity and the language. Depending on my mood I can or can't.

---

The Flaming Lips - TBD. 

M83- TBD. 

*I haven't had time to listen to these with all the finals and stuff. however, they're pending :) 

Basically, M and I virtually race each other to see who is faster. Unfortunately, he's currently in the lead. 

Wednesday AM rainy/windy run. But still a great time, under my target pace  which was 9:00. 

Some days I wish I were Forest Gump. Just be like....I-WAS-RUNN-INGGGG. Seriously. Plus, that soundtrack is legit. Who wouldn't want to run to that? Well, the point of this is I did feel like Forest this past Sunday when I had my 9 mile run. I felt great, ran from Haslett into EL and the wrapped around back. The weather was *perfect* (mark the calendar, I may not ever say that again) and I made great time and even attempted to pace myself a little bit slower because I tend to go too fast towards the beginning and lose steam. Anywhoooo -- Sunday was a great great run, and I'm hoping to keep those up! I also loved seeing SO many people out running. Friendly runners waves are the best. Especially when you can see someone struggling until you get closer then they perk up and act like they are killing it haha!! Wait....Maybe that's just what I do....? 

 

Some quick pics during my run. See that? It's sunshine. *love it* Also saw a three legged dog, more deer, and some awesome birds (red, blue, finches...). Love seeing deer on my runs, as long as they run AWAY from me :) 

Booked my next trip to see the boy and I am SO EXCITED. Although he's going to put me to work on the house, I went ahead and registered for the Fargo half, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the city that way. Hopefully it's not snowing or flooding or freezing, but I'm not going to hold my breath for that one. I know better. In addition to being a handy-woman, I'm hoping to add another great race time to the list. This will be half marathon #3, and then the next weekend I'll tackle half #4 at the Bayshore. Such a great excuse to travel, and with Kelly B no less <3 EXCITEDDDDD. 

Went to Trivia last night with Natasha...and to quote her, "we maybe didn't win" which means we lost. Bad. But, we had fun :) Post-semester life is so much better!!


It's so fun to have pics of stuff that isn't workout/food sometimes :) I sometimes socialize, y'all!!

Now that school has settled for a while I'll get back to my regular posts!

HAPPY SPRING :)

Weekend Wrap Up

This made me laugh out loud. I know so many people who probably get tired of hearing about my running complaints/victories -- in addition to all the other fitness-y stuff I talk about. There's certainly a fine line, and I try not to ramble to the folks I know don't care about my race pace, newest ailment, etc. Everyone talks about something too much -- work, their kids, their significant other, money, etc. Mine happens to be working out/healthy eating. Shoot me. 

Ok, please don't shoot me. Just tell me to shut it. Say it nicely though, ifyoudon'tmind.

THAT BEING SAID: Let's talk about the WEEKEND! 

MSU played Friday at 9:00,  but I was in a MOOOOOD (What I mean by that is I told my boyfriend I wanted to "rip his face off for no reason" -- true story). So, after I got off work after working 11.5 hours -- yes, this glamorous life I lead :) -- I ran my 5 miles scheduled for Saturday because I just wanted to be able to sleep in a little. Took some IB Profen, and drank a Spark around 7:15 so I'd be ready to run right when I got home around 8:00. I was slow, but I got that shit done.
So, I did that and was in a much better mood, so we ended up meeting and watching State WIN.

Because it was snowing I ran on the dreadmill, er, treadmill. Snow? Yep. You read that right.

That day in March was last Sunday/Monday. I forced myself into shorts because I was irrationally optimistic. Oh well. We're still in Winter in my opinion (considering it snowed Wednesday and Friday and Saturday morning -- ew), so whatevs. Anywayyyy, I put on my green and got ready for a pub-run. About two miles with frequent bar stops. To support the National Food Bank, of course I had to :) Here's some pics: 

Me and Natasha

Capital Steps in downtown Lansing

Getting a little cray. at 1:00 PM.

So, we finished that up and came back to rest/watch Michigan State lose (ugh). We took a power nap and got ready to hit the town Saturday night. Ummm, this is probably the only decent picture since I had too much to drink. Ugh. Like, throwupinthemorning too much. So awful.


With that being said, I did absolutely NOTHING today. My head was POUNDING all morning (er, afternoon), and I finally got up and moved to the couch at 1:00. Went and sat in the sauna for an hour to sweat all that alcohol out, and am feeling much better. People that legit drink all weekend every weekend amaze me, I just have no desire to feel like shit all the time. Or waste all my money.

Going to hit the hay early tonight after PAAAAAAACKING for my trip :) Can't wait to get to Minneapolis soon! 6 weeks is a long time to go without seeing your love *blush* and I am so so so excited to spend some quality time with the one that I love. Ok, sweetsy stuff *over.*

Also -- thanks for family prayers. Keep em coming if you can! Reminding myself that God is in charge and everything happens for a reason.

Hope everyone had a fun and safe weekend!

For the Love of: Fitness

So many people run because they like it. I really do, but I didn't always. It started out as simply a weight loss means to an end, as it does with most people. But now, I run because I love it. I love getting new running outfits or shoes, to register for races and set new goals, to feel like part of a larger community of runners, to feel fab after a long run, or to increase my speed. What inspires someone to start running?  Better yet, what makes someone keep running?

 I graduated college, started my new job as a social worker in a Medicare rehab facility, and moved out with my then-boyfriend -- all within the same month. Talk about overload. I didn't realize the adjustment to actual adulthood would be so difficult, but it was. I started gaining weight a little before graduation (thanks to my study abroad experience being awesome with OMG-OOD food) --  but really it was the first six months of working full time that I packed on the pounds. 

I didn't work out, I didn't watch what I ate or how much of it I ate. Spoiler alert: it caught up to me. Quick. And stuck to me. Other than my general self esteem, I noticed myself more stressed out and anxious, generally more negative, and feeling gross. Obviously, when I finally jumped on the scale and noticed I was slightly over 140 -- I died. I'd never weighed that. Or ever been close. You can't trick the scales. You can post pictures that make you look skinnier, wear more black, whatever. But the scale means business. And it's not subtle, or kind. It's honest. 

My coworkers were registering to do the Dallas Marathon in groups in December of 2010, and I joined. My friends and I went through one summer doing 5ks a lot, so I knew I could do my 5m leg easily. I started working out, and I just kept going! I didn't lose a lot of weight working up to my 5 mile race, but it certainly jump started my journey. In January, the same group of coworkers and some new ones decided to do a weight loss challenge (general Biggest Loser style) -- and I think it lasted 4 or 6 weeks. I can't remember. Well, I didn't win the contest -- but I did lose almost 15 pounds. I was doing to cardio kickboxing 3x a week and spinning 3x a week with a friend. I was in love. Not only with the classes, but I had a total lezzie crush on the cardio kickboxing instructor. She was in rockin' shape, and super cute. Plus, she kicked my ass three days a week. Totally made getting up at 4:45AM worth it.

 So, I'd lost about 25 pounds at this point, and decided to start incorporating weights in order to gain some muscle and put some healthy weight back on. 

The following December I did my first half marathon (2011).  

After that I started and finished the Insanity program.

September of 2012 I did the Chicago half and shaved over 20 minutes off my time. 

I'm doing the Bayshore this May, and hope to finally reach my goal time of under 2:00:00. YEAYUH.

And this is where I'm at:

Early Dec 2010          January 2013

Aside from feeling comfortable and confident in my own skin -- which is enough of a reason to exercise right there -- my anxiety has decreased so much so that I haven't had a panic attack in over a year and a half. I sleep better (and less), I have found friends through running socially (which also adds accountability), and I'm healthy. Disclaimer: my happiness is not solely due to running and exercise. Let's be clear about that, it isn't a magic wand. But my commitment and loyalty to taking care of myself has been the best thing I have ever done. Somewhere it stopped being about the weight, but the joy I found when I started taking care of me. 

Do what makes you happy, today and every day.