To Be Thankful

THANKSGIVING MONTH IS HERE! 

I love it. I love November. It's my aunt/BFF/#1s birthday (and the big 3-0 this year!), it's when it gets SUPER crispy outside and it's the month of my favorite holiday (other than my birthday, of course). 

Yep. This little red is turning THIRTY ladies and gents. 3-0.

and.....

Thanksgiving. 

What does it mean to you? To me, I try to take the month and reflect *often* on my blessings, my trials and tribulations, successes, growths, lessons, all of the things I love about this life I have been given so Thank-LESS-ly (at times). 

It's so easy to forget the blessings we are GIVEN, not received through luck or chance. We get into these ruts sometimes and say "wow that's so lucky." or the "right place at the right time" type-talk. No no. That was the Lord. Every time. 

One thing that has really helped me be more mindful more often about my blessings is running. I spend a lot of time sorting through my thoughts on my runs, and many of those thoughts return to the simple words of "thank you" -- Thank you Lord, for the beauty of Michigan fall, thank you ME for committing to a healthier me, thank you family for being so supportive, even with all these pesky miles that get in the way... I mean I do say thank you, A LOT, when running.

Another thing that has helped me appreciate my blessings regularly is the population(s) I encounter as a social worker. Before going back to graduate school I worked with geriatrics and encountered people who were going through things that I hadn't ever had to go through, and that really helped me put my minuscule woes into perspective. I now categorize my complaints like this:
is it a big deal, medium deal, or small deal?
Small Deal.
Medium Deal.
Big Deal.

That's it. Imagine how we could cut down on thanklessness this way. 90% of the things we complain about are Small Deals. For example: no groceries, cold outside, stepped in a puddle, forgot to turn the light off, so-and-so annoyed me, I'm tired, I was late, they were late, small deal.

hahaha clearly. Small deal guys.

Looking forward to cooking my very first Thanksgiving dinner and celebrating all that I am thankful for -- And if I burn the biscuits or screw up the turkey....guess what? Small deal. :) 

Living in the *Now*

Straying away from the usual fitness/food format to talk about something that is near and dear to me. 

A forever "goal" of mine has been to not be so anxious.
You mean that's an option?
It is. Although I don't "live there" often -- I think I've gotten much better over the past...6-8 months or so. HOWEVER --- since the school semester has started, everything's gone a little bit... haywire? off the map? to crazy town? yeah...you could say that.

Is this even possible? 

Where will I live after graduation? Shit, I'm going to have to move again? Who will help me pack? Wait...when's graduation? What color is my cap and gown? How much is it? What size will my diploma be? How soon do I need to study for the LMSW exam? What state will I need to be licensed in? Can I quit one of my several jobs? Speaking of jobs..what kind will I get? What kind do I want? I wonder how much I'll make? When do I need to start paying on my student loans...

This. Is. Exhausting. 

And you know what else it is? POINTLESS. There is NO way that worrying about all of this NOW is going to change the reality of it being done. I know that I'm a dedicated, structured person. I don't wait until the last minute. But planning 10 months in advance is a little overzealous.

So, how? How to I reeeeeeeel myself back in? Well, I exercise. As often as I can. Whenever I can. This was rough as I had a stress fracture and no gym, so my options were limited, but I made do. I am now back to running 3x a week and yoga-ing 3x a week. Running is honestly something that I can't ever imagine NOT doing. It's as soothing to me as a massage. With sweat.


Yoga -- God's most recent gift to me. While I've been doing it since I moved off and on, I have just really started to benefit in a more emotional way. This is the body I have. I'm learning to be kinder to myself, love and accept myself the way that I am *right now* I'm seeing my body change in great ways, but my favorite change is the change I have on the inside. Practicing self-compassion is not something I've ever been very good at.  Also, forcing myself to lay still and think of nothing for at least 3 minutes before and after practice helps quiet my loud-mouthed mind :)

Pray.  Now I will admit this is something that falls by the wayside from time to time, but I am typically ever-aware of all of my blessings, and try to focus on those instead of what I think I want or need. This helps keep me grounded and appreciative of this little life of mine.

Hold myself accountable. I have a few great friends who will tell me when to snap out of it. Who pray for me. Tell me when to get off that thought train, as I refer to it as after a wise woman said it. Another fun thing I tell myself is,"welp, that's a thought that will take me places..." Because honestly, half the nonsense we think that grows into fear/worry/anxiety/whatever....it's grown from something so small.

Self-help aficionado. Yeah, that's right. I'm a lover of self-help, feel-good, mindfulness type books. It doesn't work for everyone, but I also use these things at my internship, and hell...if I can't practice what I preach then I'm in for a realllll treat when clients start calling my BS. So, don't be scurred. Pick up a book. Or an audio book, for those of you who do that. Listen to it on a commute, on a run, wherever. They aren't as cliche as you think. Ok...they are, but you might like it :)

These are actually for my internship, but they're also self-help-ish.

Be. Silly. Man this is so hard for me. 

This was me actually trying to match an iPhone emoji...but it totally fits here. 

I am SUCH a serious person. The phrase "lighten up" or "live a little" should be written on my gravestone. Except that's not very sensitive...so maybe not. But, taking the time to laugh and appreciate the feeling it brings to my face, my body, my stomach...is not something I do often enough. But, it's hard to be anxious when you're laughing. Just try it. It's a little like sneezing with your eyes open. AKA impossible. 

Lastly, ENJOY. ENJOY. ENJOY. Any little thing. It doesn't even matter.

Sunflowers. Giant ones.

Lazy days. He's a pro at these.

Fall. Scarves. All things pumpkin and cinnamon.


Until next time -- I'll be trying to relax :) Probably by the time I blog next I will have been to Texas and Minneapolis -- so expect some fun photos :) 

Happy Michigan Anniversary to ME!

Holy cannoli --- it is May 5th. This day, last year, I had my Penske loaded up, my boys (pets) drugged and kenneled in the front, and I was making the long trek from Dallas, Texas to Lansing, Michigan. It was such a bittersweet day, saying goodbye to the only state I'd ever lived in, on a new adventure. My sweet parents went out of town, as they didn't want to be around to see me leave (needless to say -- they weren't so much on board). 

My room at home -- all packed and clean.

Little did I know how much of an adventure I was starting :) 

If I knew what I now know, I would probably not be here...which makes me so happy that I took the chance and huge leap of faith by coming here. Did it turn out like I expected? No. But the Lord has provided me wonderful friends, a job that I love with littles I LIVE for, and a school program that I enjoy thoroughly at Michigan State.

 The phrase,"If God brings you to it, He will see you through it" has never resonated like it has this entire last year. Not only was I able to make a choice that I knew was rooted in Gods will, I was able to really flourish and grow here on my own, which is an opportunity not everyone gets. I will forever be grateful for this experience, and I've got a year left :)

That's not to say I haven't had hard times, I mean come on...
I picked up my life and moved to Michigan to go to school and be closer to my then-boyfriend. Well...when that wasn't working, I was so mad at myself.
I'd barely even been here in Michigan.
I mean, it was still summer...yikes. 
I was so embarrassed because I knew everyone saw this happening, and felt like my dirty laundry was being aired for everyone to see. I did feel like a failure. Now it sounds silly, but that's only because I've moved past it. I'm no longer angry, because I made the choice not to be. I decided to stay and continue with grad school and make the most with what I had going for me: school. With that being said...

This year -- I have:
Joined a running group that I thoroughly enjoy and have gotten to know so many great people through a common love of running. And eating afterwards lol I have continued to make fitness and healthy eating a priority, which adds so much to my overall well-being.

 

Showing my parents around my new home! 

 

Explored downtown Chicago and ran my second half marathon solo -- which was such a wonderful experience -- and PR'd at 2:05:something.

Appropriately dressed for a REAL winter -- and survived it, too!

Spent my first birthday without my family and home-friends, and celebrated 25 with some new forever-friends without crying or getting (too) homesick!  

Met this girl -- who happens to be one of my favorites. 

Met this handsome fella, who I love very much. 

I've missed some things too..like my friends and family.
My youngest brother's prom and state competition, seeing my little cousin Brock grow faster than a weed, enjoying family dinners and my home church, having to taking my dog back home because my schedule made it too hard to give him the attention he deserved, etc etc etc.
The list could go on and on and on. But, I can honestly say the good outweighs all the bad, and at the end of the day, what else could we hope for? I have learned to listen to my heart, and trust my gut.

I've also learned that true friends are hard to find, and I'm so blessed to have found some here as well as hold on tightly to the ones at home.

Here's to another year in the mitten :)