Living in the *Now*

Straying away from the usual fitness/food format to talk about something that is near and dear to me. 

A forever "goal" of mine has been to not be so anxious.
You mean that's an option?
It is. Although I don't "live there" often -- I think I've gotten much better over the past...6-8 months or so. HOWEVER --- since the school semester has started, everything's gone a little bit... haywire? off the map? to crazy town? yeah...you could say that.

Is this even possible? 

Where will I live after graduation? Shit, I'm going to have to move again? Who will help me pack? Wait...when's graduation? What color is my cap and gown? How much is it? What size will my diploma be? How soon do I need to study for the LMSW exam? What state will I need to be licensed in? Can I quit one of my several jobs? Speaking of jobs..what kind will I get? What kind do I want? I wonder how much I'll make? When do I need to start paying on my student loans...

This. Is. Exhausting. 

And you know what else it is? POINTLESS. There is NO way that worrying about all of this NOW is going to change the reality of it being done. I know that I'm a dedicated, structured person. I don't wait until the last minute. But planning 10 months in advance is a little overzealous.

So, how? How to I reeeeeeeel myself back in? Well, I exercise. As often as I can. Whenever I can. This was rough as I had a stress fracture and no gym, so my options were limited, but I made do. I am now back to running 3x a week and yoga-ing 3x a week. Running is honestly something that I can't ever imagine NOT doing. It's as soothing to me as a massage. With sweat.


Yoga -- God's most recent gift to me. While I've been doing it since I moved off and on, I have just really started to benefit in a more emotional way. This is the body I have. I'm learning to be kinder to myself, love and accept myself the way that I am *right now* I'm seeing my body change in great ways, but my favorite change is the change I have on the inside. Practicing self-compassion is not something I've ever been very good at.  Also, forcing myself to lay still and think of nothing for at least 3 minutes before and after practice helps quiet my loud-mouthed mind :)

Pray.  Now I will admit this is something that falls by the wayside from time to time, but I am typically ever-aware of all of my blessings, and try to focus on those instead of what I think I want or need. This helps keep me grounded and appreciative of this little life of mine.

Hold myself accountable. I have a few great friends who will tell me when to snap out of it. Who pray for me. Tell me when to get off that thought train, as I refer to it as after a wise woman said it. Another fun thing I tell myself is,"welp, that's a thought that will take me places..." Because honestly, half the nonsense we think that grows into fear/worry/anxiety/whatever....it's grown from something so small.

Self-help aficionado. Yeah, that's right. I'm a lover of self-help, feel-good, mindfulness type books. It doesn't work for everyone, but I also use these things at my internship, and hell...if I can't practice what I preach then I'm in for a realllll treat when clients start calling my BS. So, don't be scurred. Pick up a book. Or an audio book, for those of you who do that. Listen to it on a commute, on a run, wherever. They aren't as cliche as you think. Ok...they are, but you might like it :)

These are actually for my internship, but they're also self-help-ish.

Be. Silly. Man this is so hard for me. 

This was me actually trying to match an iPhone emoji...but it totally fits here. 

I am SUCH a serious person. The phrase "lighten up" or "live a little" should be written on my gravestone. Except that's not very sensitive...so maybe not. But, taking the time to laugh and appreciate the feeling it brings to my face, my body, my stomach...is not something I do often enough. But, it's hard to be anxious when you're laughing. Just try it. It's a little like sneezing with your eyes open. AKA impossible. 

Lastly, ENJOY. ENJOY. ENJOY. Any little thing. It doesn't even matter.

Sunflowers. Giant ones.

Lazy days. He's a pro at these.

Fall. Scarves. All things pumpkin and cinnamon.


Until next time -- I'll be trying to relax :) Probably by the time I blog next I will have been to Texas and Minneapolis -- so expect some fun photos :) 

Everything Summer (Recap in Fast Forward)

Wow blog world. I've been absent :) Summertime is  almost over, and I haven't wanted to miss a beat!! Hence my absence. :) Lo siento!

All things Texas: Sunshine, dirt roads, family, graduation, friends, beer, grill, pets. I mean, need I elaborate? Our family is growing up and transitioning to something different, which will take some adjusting. My youngest brother graduated, so pretty soon we will all be out of the house
 *woah* It's such a blessing to see my sweet brothers grow up and become men.
How strange is that? My "little" brothers aren't so little, and it's so great to see our relationships grow and deepen. Can't imagine not having those crazies.

All things Florida: One of my favorite family vacations. We truly enjoyed each other and it was such a blessing to have my partner join in on the family fun this year, as well as Devin, my brothers' partner. While it was different to be missing the WHOLE fam, it was great to relax just us 5 and reconnect. We saw some dolphins, watched Shark Week, saw a sea turtle, kayaked, I ran in the rain, and we slept a lottttt. Sound perfect? It was. :)


Running: WELLLLLLLP. I was training for the Twin Cities Marathon, and I suffered a stress fracture. Right after 14 miles. *sob story* I was doing great with my training and had read some really great books on eating for running and Ha's marathon guide. However, since then I've been doing yoga (namasteeeee) and riding my bike some and cutting back on my runs dramatically.
Dramatically = one run a week, 3-4 miles max. Since the first week in August. *ouch* I'm slowly adding in more runs but experiencing soreness in my R leg fibula, so I just listen to my body and adjust as necessary.

Really stinks. But, I am excited to be getting back to it. Fall is my favorite running season, anyhow <3
I'm still headed to MSP for the race to support my friend Kelly and run the last 5-6 with her, and spend some fun quality time with my parents and P-I-C (partner in crime). Really looking forward to it! I just got a new running belt since my last one was acting crazy, and I got a sweat belt to maybe help shed some extra inches in the belly. If not, oh well, it is supposed to support better breathing and posture, so I'll be trying that out the next few weeks!

In other news -- Michael got a new job -- so no more overseas traveling! Exciting stuff. That's all about that.

This semester is going to be exciting and packed -- and I am so excited to be starting my last year as a graduate student at MSU. #gogreen
I'm interning at the Michigan State University Counseling Center and have been there since the beginning of July. I have been learning so much and really enjoying the experience. I'll be there for the year! I'll also be waiting tables once a week, working as a nanny, and doing a work study at the East Lansing Hot Yoga studio that I LOVELOVELOVE in exchange for free yoga practice. While this is a very busy time for me, I am focused on being present in each day, and allowing myself to love this time, as come May it will be over, and I will then miss it. Such is life.

I realize I am LATEEE to this gem of a show, but The Newsroom, anyone?! Hello, my new favorite show. Just started Season One and officially in love. I wish I wasn't, because I have papers to write, but this show is seriously good.